Dis-Grace: Schumer Boys, Drifting Away

Written by Aaron Short on . Posted in Upfront.





It has been a sweltering summer for Sen. Chuck Schumer’s former staffers. Some have gotten in trouble with the press with embarrassing sextploits. Others are floundering in the polls in winnable races or were unable to get on the ballot in the first place. And a few failed to pass legislation to their liking, including Schumer himself. What happened, Schumer Boys? Your summer dreams are ripped at the seams.

  1. Anthony Weiner— His mayoral campaign took a nosedive when the news broke that he had not stopped sexting, starting online relationships with three women even after his resignation from Congress.
  2. Micah Kellner— His City Council bid soured when The New York Times reported that one of his female Assembly staffers complained that he had sexually harassed her online.
  3. Daniel Squadron— Despite having outraised his opponents, the state senator is lagging behind in the public advocate race in a poll.
  4. David Yassky— Sources say the taxi commissioner was eyeing a bid for comptroller again— or any elected office, for that matter—but could not elbow his way into a crowded field.
  5. Chuck Schumer— He helped immigration reform pass the U.S. Senate, but it appears dead in the House.
  6. Josh Vlasto— Never start a flame war with Fred Dicker that you are not prepared to lose.
  7. Phil Goldfeder— The assemblyman failed to get full casino gambling in Queens added to the governor’s gaming amendment. Now Aqueduct will have to wait seven years for a blackjack table.
  8. Michael Cusick— Actually, the assemblyman’s summer has been pretty good. But he didn’t put too much effort into paddling at the Adirondack Challenge.
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